


magnus, how did you die?

by shy_cactus



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Finale spoilers, Take A Look At That Character Growth!, but i'm tagging it bc it's annoying to get the Vague Romance fics in the gen tag, has written Magnus 'Casual About Death' Burnsides'… but………, listen i know everyone and their dog (myself included), the romance is pretty minor, uhhhhhh how do tags, warnings for suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 20:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11836608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shy_cactus/pseuds/shy_cactus
Summary: Patiently.





	magnus, how did you die?

They’re fighting a band of goblins one time when Taako shouts, “Don’t die, homie, we still need some muscle on our side,” and Magnus just laughs and goes in for another attack, the goblin biting him on the arm when he misses.  Merle dislodges the thing with his hammer and for a split second Magnus is distracted, staring down at the wounds that now drag across his forearm and wondering what would’ve happened if the goblin’s teeth had hit an artery.

They would’ve been fine if he’d stayed focused on the fight and if more goblins hadn’t shown up, attracted by the sound of battle, but it’s not long before they’re overwhelmed and the momentary edge that Magnus’s detachment gives their attackers makes the difference between Magnus being hurt but awake and Magnus being unconscious, dragged leg-first out of the cave by a weak-ass wizard who’s swearing up a storm in between magic missiles and berating a sleeping fighter for getting his ass handed to him _right_ after I said not to and Merle hurry up and get out here and heal this dude while I collapse the entrance or something do I have to do _everything_ around here–

The first feeling Magnus identifies when his eyes open and register the distinctly material-plane trees and the bushy gray beard of an only sometimes-useful cleric overhead, before pain in his head and arm comes rushing back, is disappointment.

 

They’re fighting a wizard way above their pay grade in a pretty impressive (but smelly, like this guy hadn’t washed his dishes in a week) lair when fire damage sends Magnus to his knees.  Merle’s been failing a lot of his rolls today but when he sees Magnus go down he manages to cast a minor healing spell on him, and he says, “Hang in there, buddy, miles to go or whatever, yknow.”  And blinking hard to clear the fog from his vision Magnus pulls himself up and he says, “I’ll try,” and he goes a little longer, fights a little harder; it takes a little more to knock him down this time.

And when he does collapse, because this guy just can’t resist taking all the hits that come his way, Merle just groans and climbs over his unconscious body to take a swing at this overconfident magic dude with his fancy wrench, knowing his next spell probably won’t go through unless for some reason he winds up needing a zone of truth.  And when Magnus wakes up, limbs aching but his companions’ faces full of the obvious satisfaction that tells him they won, he feels proud of Merle and Taako for taking down that wizard for long enough that the disappointment over waking up doesn’t quite land.

 

The Director calls them into her office one day, and when they leave Magnus almost trips over Angus, who might be the world’s best detective but also has a promising career in the field of doorstoppers and other hazards, and Angus clambers to his feet while apologising profusely first to Magnus and then to Taako and Merle who smacked into Magnus’s back.  “Sorry, sirs!  I didn’t mean to– I was just– nobody ever tells– I wanted to–“

“It’s alright, Ango,” Magnus says, picking the boy up and moving him over a foot so all three of them can exit the Director’s office.  

“Is Madame Director sending you on another mission?  What is– where–“

“That’s classified, little man,” Taako says, pushing up the rose-coloured glasses he’s wearing even though he doesn’t need them and they make his vision _worse_ (“it’s called fashion, screw you”) and poking Angus in the nose.  Angus flinches backward at the touch and blinks rapidly, a little cross-eyed.

“We’ll tell you _all_ about it when we get back,” Merle says, in his _we’ll avoid you like the plague when we get back_ voice, and Angus screws up his face like he wants to say something else, but the three of them move on too fast, heading to see Avi about taking a sphere to the surface.  Angus grabs Magnus’s sleeve at the last second, little fingers snagging in an old tear that Magnus hasn’t bothered mending.  (Accidentally making the tear a little bigger.  Oops.)  “Sir!”

Magnus stops and turns, though his friends go on without him.  “What’s up, Ango?”

Angus frees himself from Magnus’s sleeve and hesitates for a second before saying, “Come back safely, okay, sir?”

Magnus smiles and ruffles the kid’s curly hair, knocking his glasses askew.  “I will, kiddo, don’t worry,” he says, without even thinking about it.

And he’s _glad_ to get back, after it all, scuffed around the edges and with wounds that will heal into new scars, and to see Angus McDonald with his nose pressed to the glass on the other side of the sphere bay.  He’s glad to see Avi, and to be back here where people wave to the three of them as they limp from Lucretia’s office to medical.  

As he sits on a bench and lets an orc healer stitch up the worst of his cuts, Magnus realises he didn’t come anywhere close to blacking out this time.  And he wonders if that’s just the nature of the fight or if it’s because he didn’t _want_ to give them the option of killing him.  He sits there for a little while after he’s all cleaned up; his excuse if anyone asked would be that he’s waiting for Taako, who took some pretty bad hits, but mostly he’s just thinking.  He’s thinking about all the times he laughed off people’s comments about his recklessness, how everyone always told him _you’re going to get yourself killed one of these days_ and how for a long time there the main thing he held onto was that if he died, his companions would be in danger.  _But it wouldn’t be too much of a loss because if they make it through that fight they can always just find some more muscle afterward._  

When did he start caring whether he died?

Taako and Merle find him after they’ve both been patched up, and since he’s sitting Merle is able to put a hand on his shoulder.  “You alive in there, bud?”  

Magnus starts, and looks at Merle for a second before he puts his hand over Merle’s and says, “ _Yeah._ ”

“Don't make it weird,” Merle snorts, pulling his hand back and waddling on out of the infirmary.  “I just asked to make sure the medical staff didn’t do something to your head.  You know, I always thought that one halfling nurse had it in for me…”

Magnus follows Merle and Taako silently as Taako makes fun of Merle’s theory, and Magnus thinks of Lady Istus, calmly weaving fate.  For half a second, he thinks he sees her, and she looks up and makes eye contact with him.  After he blinks and she’s gone, there’s an image that stays behind his eyes a moment longer, of three– no, seven, no, three– threads twined together, and Magnus jogs to catch up and get in a jab at Merle.

 

And a long, long time later, after the Day Of Story And Song and after the Day Of Killian And Carey’s Wedding and after so many other days and a few other Days and after Kravitz leads him away from all the people gathered around who have loved him for so long, when he sees _her,_ after the dogs go joyously back inside wagging so hard he thinks their butts might just walk away from them, Julia takes his hand in hers and leans against him as they walk and says, “You took longer than I thought you would.”

And he says, “I know.  Jules–”

And she says, “I’m glad.”  And she puts a hand on his shoulder and kisses him, because she’s been waiting for him for so long and she’s so glad he didn’t come home out of the carelessness for his own life that weighed heavy on him after what happened at Raven’s Roost, but because he was finally ready.  “Besides, I had to add, like, an entire room for fishtanks after I heard the part of your story where you adopted an alien, and that took a little time.  It would’ve sucked if you got here before _that_ was ready.”

And she’s glad he’s here now.  She’s worked so hard on this home.  It doesn’t match the one they left behind, but it suits both of them, and they both fit into this space like they’d been together the whole time.  They have their dogs.  Julia’s been collecting the spirits of whatever interesting fish she’s been able to find in this plane and offering them a home in the fish room she built, and she’s had plenty of time to grow the moss on the roof and other plants in a little garden that starts outside but ends only where climbing plants haven’t reached up the walls inside.  She’s been happy here, making things her own, and now that Magnus is back the picture is complete.

“I love you, Jules.”

**Author's Note:**

> today, griffin and travis mcelroy physically entered my house and murdered me,,  
> man I cried so much during magnus's part of the finale. I cried a lot during the finale in general. everyone in this family did such a good job on this podcast and I'm really grateful that they brought everything to such a good close


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